July 30 2019


27.11.2018. Just sitting in my bed, overwhelmed with emotions. La Palma, such an amazing island and experience that is hard to be described. But this was only a part of my journey. This one I could split in three parts: 1. The wedding 2. Morocco 3. La Palma.



So I started my journey this year in a different way. Instead of diving into the unknown by myself I started the travels with my parents. My brother chose Tenerife for his wedding and there we were heading to. I can't say the beginning was the sweetest. I just finished a job where I worked for the past year. A job in which I grew up. Looking back it has been an amazing journey and transformation. It was quite challenging and diverse, which I loved but sometimes it was very hard to handle. Actually to me it seems like I had lessons which I could spend more years learning all packed up in a one year time slot. After not having a steady job for a while it was very much intense. To get to know all the people I had the privilege to work with. To learn (and forget only to learn again) that everybody speaks from his own experience and try to remember that their pain is their own and not mine. And vise versa. In time it got easier but the challenges were for me so big that I struggled a lot. Looking back I can see this was the best practise in communication skills, patience and connecting with people. I could not hope for more. Although at some points it felt I was drowning, at the end I learned how to swim and enjoyed playing in the water...most of the time. Being available to everyone anytime is hard. Sometimes you just want to do your job in peace and quietness. But this was also the part of the job I really enjoyed - being in the middle of everything, getting to know how an organisation works and trying to solve problems that occured. Worrying too much, I must confess, was pretty tiring. Taking a lot on myself was a bit heavy. But I really felt like an important part of the organisation and tried to put my best in it, with my heart also involved. A bit too much at some points but this was how I chose to play the game. I am happy and satisfied with how I have grown and grateful for the opportunity. 

So to get back to the journey. Yeah, from the beginning I was still processing my experience from the job. And travelling together with my parents wasn't easy. I felt a bit a burden to travel with them - like my freedom was in a way limited. My patience is limited and especially when it comes to the relationships in the family, I still am triggered so quickly and my patience wears off very fast. So it was challenging and at the end it felt actually great to have this opportunity to experience with my parents as I usually do it on my own.

And the beginning wasn't so sweet also because of the cold and wet weather we experienced in Barcelona. On the first night I also got a strong pain in my back which for some moments made me feel really upset but soon I accepted it and then it became better. 

Tenerife - it is an interesting island and some parts made quite an impression on myself, but it is a bit too crowded and touristy for my taste. It was beautiful to explore the special nature - the cliffs at Los gigantes, the amazing scenery around Masca, having an adventurous drive with big curves and big change of altitude. It was during the drive I realized my dad wasn't so comfortable driving these narrow and steep roads but he overcame his fear and continued to drive. 

We had quite some activities connected to the wedding and all of them were pretty sweet. From hiking underneath the volcano, meeting the mother of my sisters, having a ladies afternoon in the beautiful environment and having a family dinner. It was so nice to meet the people, important for Tumi - my brother's fiancée and at that time, also my sister. Yet I was quite struggling with my health - as my back was getting better, I started to feel a bit week and like I was starting to get a cold. I didn't take it seriously and just chew on my ginger and waited for it to pass. Well it didn't. Inspite all this I can say I feel really blessed to be able to participate in the wedding. To be there for my brother who is really important for me. To be a witness of his love towards an amazing human, Tumi. To observe selflessly the expression of their love and with pure love in my heart to wish them all the best. Knowing and trusting in the power of their love. Blessing their patience, towards themselves and others. I was filled with hope, love and presence. 

I loved the moment when my dad and I were picking up the cakes which already started to melt - it felt like we were driving an ambulance to deliver them to the fridge in the restaurant. The moment when I met Tumi's mum, so joyful and warm. The moment when all of our family was gathered and we rehearsed our family dance. The moment I got to hug my sisters, Lola and Tola. The moment when on the night before the wedding we went home with Žare and I gave him a back massage to release a bit of the stress. The moment when we came in a bit chaos to Žare for the wedding - ironing his clothes, making an improvised belt, and me still wondering how to put on my dress. Spending some sweet moment with my big brother in the car, driving to the wedding. Admiring, supporting and loving him. The moment Tumi started to dance, surrendering her to her love. Hearing the vows, expressing their love and commitment to each other. Enjoying the dance of the newlyweds, so playful, relaxed and smooth. Having fun doing the family dance. Enjoying the speeches of others and also taking the courage to speak from the heart - deciding in the last moment to make a speech also, the words that came out of my mouth were following: My brother, my sister. When I look at you I become speechless. And then a few words come to my heart: love, hope, patience and presence. Thank you!!

The night finished with great food and lots of dancing and laughing. It was great. 

The next day we met on the beach and spent some more quality time. It ended with our family dancing off he beach. Amusing!

I wasn't much sad to part from my brother and my sister although I knew I won't be seeing them for a while. I think that because I got to spent so much quality time with them I can survive untill we see each other next year. Wherever. Whenever.

The remaining of the time in Tenerife was supposed to be used for exploring the island. Well we did make a trip to the north, where it is so beautiful, but my cold was getting worse. I spent one whole day in the bed just blowing my nose a lot and moving from one side to another. Worrying about how my travels will be, not feeling the best. I had half more day to rest, then it was time to leave Tenerife. The next stop was Malaga, visiting Prado, a kind and warm girl I met in Nepal. It was nice to see her again although I wasn't feeling the best. I rested a lot, drank a lot of tea and did get a chance to explore a bit of Malaga. Still worrying about traveling in the weak state. Should I continue with my plans? Or should I change them? The fear of traveling to unknown place became stronger as my health became weaker. I got better but very slowly. Finally my heart overcame the fear and I decided - yes, on the 10th of November I will arrive in a continent I had never visited before, Africa.



Oh I loved Morocco. So liberating, so fulfilling, and yet so different. As I am writing this more than 7 months have passed by but I really want to write down my experience because it was very much special. It wasn't long. I didn't see so much. But it was deepening my connection to myself and resulted in trusting more in others and life itself.


As I started the travels with a cold it wasn't so comfortable. Arriving to this different world - lots of people, women covered, men can be very curious. Before I came I heard some bad stories some women had and was at the begining very careful and cautious. Soon I realaxed and while still being aware that I am traveling through a different culture and respecting that, I trusted that I am safe. And I was. I didn't have any bad experience, sure being present and careful and going around with a runny nose helped not to be bothered much:). And also, going there with the intention "I don't want attention, I want my space" helped also, at least I think it did.


First days I spent in Tangier and I liked it very much from the very beginnig. First as I wasn't feeling yet safe enough it was a bit troubling and confusing walking aroud Medina  - the old town, full of little allies, that have no order and soon you get lost :). Actually getting lost in Medina was one of my favourite things :)!! Every city has one and they can be quite charming, you never know where you will end up ;)!!


As I mentioned I came with a cold which could have meant that my travels will not be so great. Actually I started to enjoy my journey while not feeling the best. Not that I would chose to do it often but as it is already happening.... I felt more just going with the flow....follow more how I felt. When I didn't feel like taking a bus the next day, I stayed one more day in Tangier and enjoyied it, resting when needed and exploring the markets. I fell in love soon. With the life there and also with the pomegranates. Ooooh, there are so many of them and I loved each of them - so rich, so refreshing and so tasty:). They were a great companion and easy accesable.


Next stop was Chefchaoun. A beautiful small city, where the houses are paited blue. It seems so comforting, so supportive and I felt great there. Walking aroung the Medina, looking at everything it has to offer and soon I got more strength to walk to the next little village. It was enjoyable, observing how they live and exploring some paths that don't go anywhere. I wished I would go hiking but knew it was too much for me at that point. I enjoyed smaller walks and doing less.


Fes. What an amazing city. Big walls, giant confusing Medina and so much going on. When I came I had some troubles finding my home - this is quite usual and if it is not possible to find it you just ask a local who are very happy to show you for a small reward. I booked the place online in advance and it looked very interesting - typical Maroccan house with a nice view on top. I was still a bit under the impression of other people's bad experiences and the fear came nibbing on my ears. I am all alone here? This looks deserted? What if something happens to me? I decided to go out and thought that if later I still feel bad, I move. I enjoyed the Medina....ooooh, surely I needed to remember well where I walk as to find my way back to my home :). So alive, so much it offers, I enjoyed looking all the things they create here. Just before the dawn I returned to my home to find a couple with whom I hanged and laughed and soon I felt safe in my new home. There were actually more people there and the hosts were very friendly there. Like most places.


Moulay Idriss was waiting for me to explore next. I loved the freedom to decide one day in advance where to go next. Sometimes it can me a bit confusing not having much structure but mostly it is liberating and fills me with ease. When I came to Fes with a bus I passed by an interesting lake with an extraordinary surrounding. And yes, I wanted to check it out. Surely where I was staying it wasn't so close but with a short bus ride and some downhill walk with a friendly cotraveller I met at the guesthouse, it was fun. We enjoyed walking and exploring slowly the countryside and the lake. We hitchhiked a part back and spend some quality time with a local guy who spoke little English - very friendly and talkative regardless that :)!


Next day we visited Volubilis - remainings of an ancient berber town, which is quite well preserved. It was nice walking around, imagining how it was thousand of years ago! Soon I decided to move on as my wish was to see the desert. I didn't have much time this journey so I decided based on my priorities. I traveled with local busses or shared taxies - you come there and you never know when it leaves - taxies wait to fill up with more people. My goal was to get to Merzouga but didn't know exactly how . So each time I chose a transportation that suited me best regarding time, destination and price. I usually checked where I could find a room on booking.com, because I wasn't so sure about renting something on the spot in Morocco. Overcareful I guess but this time it felt better. On booking I could read the reviews and see that it is safe. I could stay in Azrou but I still had more time so I took a shared taxi. 3 men an an older lady. I did feel a bit uncomfortable travelling just with men so having her around felt good. Soon we connected. We talked a lot although she could not speak English. It is hard to explaind but I felt so good with her. She wanted me to stay with her in Midelt, where anyway was my stop for the night - the others helped to confirm what I already understood from her body language. They said she lives alone with her daughter. I wanted to go with her but was a bit unsure. I checked inside of my heart and knew it is safe for me. I spent a nice evening with her and her daughter, who spoke some English. Later a friend of the daughter came and she spoke better English and tried to marry me there;);). We ate an amazing tangine and had a nice evening. In the morning the lady helped me to get to the bus station  and gave me her number and wow it was like there was an angel looking after me. Such presence and care. So much love. Later she called me and although we didn't speak the same language we understood each other. It felt so. Incredible experience, I feel so blessed to have trusted and went with my heart. Aaaah.


Merzouga 💓! Oh, staying in a wonderful place (Auberge Camping La Liberte) with a friendly host and just stepping outside you find the desert in front of you!! Still being a bit cautious though, I wanted to take a two day trek in the desert with more people. I wasn't ready to do it alone with a guide. On one hand it is less expensive, but mostly I felt safer that way. The host conviced me that Ahmed is really great and gave me his word that I can trust him - it was funny when he asked me: What are you afraid of? I didn't know what to answer..just saw the fear sitting there:)!!


Yeah I just realised haven't written much about food in Morocco yet, weird for me ;)! Well I can say it is really delicious, it feels good in the body and there is lots of fruit also available so my body was so happy:)! Tangine, a traditional meal cooked in the oven, so delicious. Tasty pankakes for breakfast (although usually pomegrenades were my favourite choice). And snack, I loved them - some corn bread or something similar, yummy. 


I must admit I wasn't super comfortable going into the desert with an unfamiliar man. Can I trust him? I wanted to behave in a way that he wouldn't think of me as a woman but as a human being. 


My worries were not necessary!! Surely keeping a bit distance helped. Soon we started to talk a lot and it was so interesting to share this journey with him and so much fun. He listened to my needs, paid attention and at the same time respected the distance between us. Wow, I feel so blessed I had met him and my trust in people grew stronger and stronger :)!!


I started the walk and the camel sat in front of me. I didn't gave much thought about this before but actually I didn't feel comfortable sitting on a 🐫 and having her carry me as I had two healthy legs and enjoy walking. Soon I stepped down - Ahmed understood my view and all three of us continued walking :)!


He explained a lot about Moroccan culture,  about Berbers, about the desert. I liked listening to his stories. Soon we arrived at an oasis and we went up a big sand dune - surely I wanted to walk up there even though it wasn't so easy. Under my feet the sand was slipping, sometimes it felt life walking on snow - so I needed more effort to overcome the sandy " hill". The view was rewarding. Uau, we could see so much around and it felt so peaceful and powerful to be there. Having fun with my guide. Getting to know each other. Running down the dunes like children :)!! After lunch which half of it a cat stole right in front of my nose, we continued our walk. I tried riding the camel again and observing how it moves under me, ooh it is so funny. Soon I continued on food. It felt better. Out home for the night was a camp in the desert. As the night was coming I was again a bit uncomfortable that my guide might do something inappropriate. I was so happy that at the camp were two other girls, and actually from Slovenia :)!! I feelt better immediately not being alone - although my worries were not necessary. My guide was behaving like a gentleman, while the guide of the girls wasn't. He was often insinuating something inappropriate ( not directly, but you could see his intentions), and they didn't feel so safe, so we went to bed early. I woke up early to se the sunset and danced in the desert. Ahmed took me safely and happy home, and he gave me a few gifts ( a scarf, small tangine). And at the end he gave me a hug in front of the owner of the home which was surprising but felt so sincere! Later he wrote me a message in which he asked me why I gave him a tip (which was usually quite common as I read). He seemed offended. I explained that I was very satisfied with him and that he was very professional. He still didn't want the tip. So sweet. Oh, so much about the stories that everyone in Morocco wants money from you!!!


As the girls from the desert continued the same day in a similar direction I decided to join them and it was an interesting journey. We didn't really connect well and I let them drive where they decided and not interfere. It was a strange journey through Atlas and we saw some remote villages and soon we came to a place there was snow...there was a point when we weren't sure we will arrive at our destination of the day, but soon we started descending and the windy road became wider and more straight. I felt good observing their journey and supporting them. Arriving late at the Ouzoud falls and going directly to sleep.


I was worried about one thing though. From Moulay Idriss I felt a bit itchy. In Chefchaoun someone was talking about bed bugs and I though - oh, I travel so much and never had them...well, this time I was worried. After the desert my itching bacame even stronger and there were more bites on my arms mostly. I was panicking a bit. What if I got bed bugs? They say they follow you wherever you go!! I was heading later to a contact festival and didn't want to risk not attending! I was checking online posts about it and it didn't look nice. I was observing my bites and checking the bed to find the little annoyances! I could not see them....


Ouzoud waterfalls were really nice, I woke up early to walk around, alone, still being a bit careful :)! Soon I relaxed and enjoyed exploring around!! My ride took me safely to Marakesh and I was kind of looking forward on continuing my journey alone with local busses. Before I was thinking how nice it would be to rent a car so you can stop anywhere you want and have also company. Well with some you connect and with some you don't (we did when we were driving in crazy snowy roads and when we were a bit worried, but later the connection passed), wasn't sure I wanted to hear much more about complaining and worries :). I was happy to take a local bus and skip this giant city and continue my journey with people who live there. Next stop:  Essaouira.


As I got more confortable I tried booking a room with air bnb. It was a good choice, meeting a local who runs this beautiful place, and other cotravellers, it was a great space to share ourselves there. As soon as I got there I was offered a massage and I really needed it ...my back was tired and having so many bites on my body I really needed a human touch. I believe the touch can be very healing! I explored the city - lovely place, small shops and did my last shopping: essential oils, some fabric for sewing and argan oil.I used tea tree oil to spray all over my stuff, bought also aloe vera for calming my skin and soon the bites grew smaller and I realised I actually don't have problems with bed bugs. What a relief! I visited the sea, had a fun evening, washed my clothes (still being careful because of the alleged bed bugs) and headed off to my last stop in Morocco - Agadir. I stayed with a family who cooked me a nice dinner and in the morning headed to the airport with a stop at a big market on the way to airport. I had much fun there with an older  fruit salesman and I bought more fabric to bring some of Morocco home. I did have a bit of a misunderstanding with a taxi driver about the price and at the same time it was ok. Time to leave this wonderful land! Friendly people. Open-hearted. Beautiful scenery, from sea to mountains to the desert. Safe.





As I was already in the neighborhood it made sense to me to visit a contact improvisation festival in the Canary islands, in La Palma. Contact improvisation by this point already became my addiction. A way to express myself, in relation with another one and explore what is in between. Since I came there I felt at home. Beautiful enviroment at Finca Aurora - our host built this place and it took her a lot of time and efford to make it a beautiful heaven. My fantasy. Overlooking sea and mountains, with small details, and rooms where it just feels good. At the beginning I wanted my own room but I must admit having such amazing roomates made the experience even more fulfilling. 


Spending a week with about 30 of others who love to explore is a great adventure. Spending a lot of time with the teacher outside of the workshops was nice and being in this amazing atmosphere and surrounding was at times surreal. It is hard to describe what was going on but it surely brough me lots of tranquility, openness and softness. Love and hope. Seeing the best of me and digging in deeper. We did some workshops at the sea, some at the woods and one of the most amazing was putting stones (the whole island is vulcanic so they were vulcanic stones which felt they are carrying a special energy) on my body by my roomie with which we connected on a very deep level. As if we could feel each other. The stones were telling my body what it nedded to hear and it sounds crazy but this whole week was a bit crazy. I loved singing and some songs got stuck in me and are still voicing in my body (like the song quatros vuentos ). I felt at peace, present and happy. Not having much, not needing much. Even when my phone got splashed by the sea and stopped working I felt good. It felt liberating to be without the phone. More connected to myself and the world around me. More present. More me. It did make some difficulties as I needed to come home soon but it all worked great. After the festival was over I still had two days to rest and I went hiking a bit. It was time to go back into the real world. I felt strong, empowered, centered and balanced. Will this be enough for a year of challenging experience with the new job I was starting? I knew it won't be easy, but I knew it was an opportunity I wanted to take!!! What lies ahead, I was curious....